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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!"

"If I had a nickel for everytime I was asked for... ...Change, I still wouldn't give it to the homeless guy"

"And satan said ""let all the opinions of strangers on social media have an absurdly large effect on you"" and it was so"

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You hit her"

"When is it okay to punch a midget? When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice."

"Turkey shot down Syrian helicopter at the border. How did they train it to do that?"

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *Gag*"

"Why did the monster drink ten liters of antifreeze? So that he didn't have to buy a winter coat."

"""What do you do in your free time? "" ""I stalk. "" ""Really? I go swimming and for long hikes"" ""I know.""."

"arm's length what do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? a speech impediment"