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Joke of the Day

"""What do you do in your free time? "" ""I stalk. "" ""Really? I go swimming and for long hikes"" ""I know.""."

"What do you say to pasta that gets thrown out? Hasta la pasta baby."

"Been having a problem with diarrhea & its unbearable The doc said lemons will help I said I know but as soon as I take 1 out it starts again"

"That incessant, monotonous football is really ruining my enjoyment of the vuvuzelas."

"Why do Gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers. My FAVORITE clean joke, by far."

"Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. It runs through your ""jeans"""

"My identical twin brother and I were both arrested this weekend. But there was a mix-up during processing. Now we are finishing each other's sentences."

"Imagine if trees gave off Wi-Fi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet too. Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath."

"Theres a dating website for people that believe the government is ran by lizard people so I really have no excuse for being single"

"I'm not saying I leave my wife sexually satisfied... But my neighbour just asked me to turn down the bass."