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Joke of the Day

"""Um, can we get like three baguettes popping out of the top of that sack of groceries?"" - Most all film directors"

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"FLIGHT ATTENDANT: would you like me to throw that away for you? RACCOON: *clutching banana peel* this is my carry on thank you very much"
"What do you call a sinking ship full of condiments? Sinko de Mayo"
"Q: What is lemonade? A: When you help an old lemon across the street."
"They told me to imagine a guy holding a jug full of water. But I just couldn't pitcher it."
"person: what is your dog's name me: he won't say"
"The second best ""asm"" is ""sarc."""
"Who is a Brooklyn dog's favorite composer? Bach Bach Bach"
"Mother: I raised you both as a mother and a father. Son: Go fuck your self."
"I'm doing asbestos I can.. dealing with mesothelioma."
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