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Joke of the Day
"While in bed, my girlfriend screamed, ""Oh my god, it's so big!"" Then I saw the spider."
Next Joke
"I bet a crowded elevator smells different to a midget."
"What do you call a polar bear who works for Fox News? A bad news bear"
"I just read an article about a woman who killed her husband, boiled his body, and turned it into homemade jelly she kept in her pantry! It was really jarring."
"What's the difference between 8:45 am and 10:45 am? Around 3000 people"
"Where do wind gusts go to on dates? -To Chicago"
"We saw a patient in the emergency room today... He had fallen into an upholstering machine. It was touch and go for a while but...   ...he's fully recovered."
"Did you know the internet was created by egyptians They have a long history of worshiping cats and writing on walls. Inspired by a post on showerthoughts"
"I like my women like I like my dog. Actually, No. I prefer the dog."
"My Nephew's pet chicken died. I couldn't help asking if the funeral will be fried or roasted."