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Joke of the Day

"Why did the console player cross the road? Because fuck you for clicking on this just to tell me how much of a shitty repost this is!"

"Aw, I would love to keep up with the Kardashians. But being a 'pregnant-solar-powered-douche-magnet' is an art form I haven't yet perfected."

"A man's girlfriend shaves her pussy in the shower. His girlfriend says ""Hey babe, I shaved my pussy...you know what that means?"" The man replies ""Yeah, the fucking drain is clogged again."""

"If you're starved for time, eat a watch."

"Always remember the first move in every fight...punch to the balls."

"Did anyone happen to DVR Twitter for me? I missed the last 3 weeks and I would like to fast forward through all the Justin Bieber parts."

"Whats an iPhone 7's favorite brand of frozen pizza? Not Jack's."

"Q: What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender? A: Rhesus Pieces."

"Jokes about German people... Are the wurst!"

"No YOU hug her first .... NO YOU hug her first .... F-that ! YOU hug her FIRST ! .... -Lineup congratulating the Next Ebola free nurse"