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Joke of the Day

"The problem with cuddling in bed with your true love is that iPhones don't cuddle back."

"Mommy? Does Barbie come with Ken? No dear, she comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken."

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Billy played in the mud. Wanna hear a clean joke? Billy took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear another dirty joke? Bubbles is his neighbour."

"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the boy? Hey Kid, go easy on the candy! Probably been here before, I just thought it was hilarious for some reason."

"you're lucky I can teach you how to shave my dad wasnt around to teach me. now watch *presses razor against face and moves head up and down*"

"I want to be seen Especially before you slam that door into my face!"

"In Iraq are Kraft Foods discount coupons known as Kraft Dinar?"

"Research shows your medication is 879% more effective if you drink a 6 pack and a bottle of wine first. Also, I changed my name to Research."

"How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs"

"drummer: ""just add er on the end of your instrument"" guy who plays trumpet: ""so im a trumpeter, ok cool"" guy who plays trombone: ""oh no"""