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Joke of the Day

"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the boy? Hey Kid, go easy on the candy! Probably been here before, I just thought it was hilarious for some reason."

"How is an easily-offended person like a broken GPS? They always take things the wrong way."

"How many Donald Trumps does it take to screw a light bulb I don't know but to screw a country it only takes one"

"Why are the Panama Leaks so important, anyways? I mean that canal fucking sucks, so who cares."

"I'VE GOT (( PROBLEMS AND A STUCK SHIFT KEY IS ONE."

"So this joke crossed the line in a group I tell ""Offensive Jokes"" to every week. Is it? Can you top it? NSFW / NSFL How do you titty fuck a 7 year old? *Snap her shoulders.*"

"[wife walks in on me showering] ""Why are you wearing swim trunks?"" No reason. [she glares at me] SO MY TEMPORARY TATTOOS DON'T COME OFF OKAY"

"What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? ""Boo-bees"""

"*turns around in chair dramatically* Hello... *chair turns around again* ...I've been expecting you... *again* ..., Repair-Man."

"'Expect the unexpected' Now that would make the unexpected the expected, but since the expected is being expected, then that would mean it wasn't the unexpected, so what the fuck do we expect?"