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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about Lorena Bobbitt's car accident? Yeah, some dick cut her off."
Next Joke
"OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. hold breath 5 mins 2. die"
"What's your favourite onomatopoeic word? Mine's ""silence""."
"What happens when you get some vinegar in your ear? You suffer from pickled hearing!"
"What's got six legs and can fly long distances ? Three swallows !"
"Tonight playing poker with a buddy he said ""Care to make this interesting?"" And I said ""Sure. For years I've been secretly in love with you"""
"[Day after Xmas] 7am: I am detoxing today, only fruit and liquids for me 9am: There are worse things than eating 14 cookies for breakfast"
"a fun pastime in America is driving teenage starlets into utter madness and then enjoying a hearty laugh afterwards"
"If your house it hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT AND SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY. That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside."
"When rapping in my car, I hold my phone to my ear so passersby think I'm on an intense business call."