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Joke of the Day

"If your house it hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT AND SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY. That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside."

"So I was outside on the farm yesterday when this cow comes charging at me and attempts to jump over the barbed wire fence... It was an udder disaster."

"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So people don't confuse them with your mom."

"Better be named after what? If you had to choose, would you prefer having a disease named after you, or be named after your mother in law?"

"My hand is stuck in a jar of salsa right now. I'm just gonna leave it in there. This is who I am now. I'm tired of fighting."

"Hitler wasn't that bad of a guy He was only doing what he thought was reich."

"What's a redneck family reunion called? (NSFW) pump-kin"

"What did the physicist say to the depressed hippy? ""There's no such thing as negative energy"""

"I talked to San Andreas about the earthquake yesterday. He said it wasn't his fault."

"When I was a child, I remember lying in bed with my eyes closed and waiting for Santa to come... Then crying myself to sleep as he put his clothes back on and left."