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Joke of the Day

"""No, I didn't forget your gift"" *digs in purse ""Got you this hairspr..I need that. Got you this keyring"" *removes keys"

"I was wrestling with an Anaconda for 3 days... And then I realised I was masturbating"

"Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick."

"What did the socialists use before candles? Electricity"

"Did you hear about the gay broom? Spent 10 years in the closet."

"This is where I draw the line! ________________________________________________________"

"What did the mute say to the priest? Nothing"

"If 50 is the new 30, then Dead is the new 80."

"My Irish friend was telling me about his uncle. ""My uncle's a cop, you know,"" he said. ""Oh, really?"" ""No, O'Riley."""

"An atheist, a vegan and a femenist walked into a bar. And everyone knew it instantly."