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Joke of the Day

"What did the mute say to the priest? Nothing"

"Damn girl are you Lassie? Because you're acting like a bitch."

"Did you hear Jill Stein and Al Franken are getting married? Their kids said they will hyphenate their last names to ""Franken-Stein."""

"4yo: When you're 9, you can drive Me: Pretty sure you have to be older 4yo: Some people can drive at 9 Me: A little older 4yo: Ya, it's 9"

"Sometimes, when two people love each other very much, they get married and ruin everything."

"It's nice to feel wanted. Even if it's by the FBI."

"What do you call an Asian woman who lives next to a data centre? Ping Lo."

"Why is everyone complaining about Mayweather? We're only 4 days in and I think it's been just fine"

"This guy told me that he can see the future but he didn't even try to duck when I punched him in the face."

"What's the difference between a bIack guy and a bike? A bike doesn't start singing when you put chains on it."