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Joke of the Day

"kids let me explain this in teen. your father & i have unfollowed each other. he was yoloing another woman. it's 4:20 time to smoke divorce"

"What's yellow and smells like a zebra? Lion vomit."

"A sincere apology is like coffee. Don't talk to me beforehand."

"What's the tallest building in your city? The library, because it has the most stories."

"What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car? He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now"

"I just got punched by my friend for trying to kiss his new baby on the forehead. Apparently, I have to wait for the baby to be born first."

"Joined a street protest. Suddenly a shot, panic and everybody started running. 3 hours and a gold medal later I realised it was a marathon"

"Nancy Grace just called pot smokers ""fat and lazy"". Right. Unlike the buff marathon runners home 4 o'clock on a Monday watching your show."

"The woman who injected her 8-year old daughter with Botox for beauty pageants has lost custody. The child didn't look surprised."

"I argued constantly with my boss, so in the end I got the sack And buried him in it."