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Joke of the Day

"Snake: eat that apple Adam:nah S:u scared A:no S:lol u scared A: *eats apple* S: whoa I didnt thnk u would do it lol sick now eat that poop"

"NSFW Where do you go when you get semen in your eye? Pearle Vision. [Totally a Canadian Joke, my bad for not thinking about that! Pearle Vision is a local Optometry franchise.]"

"How did experts know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her Head & Shoulders in the glove compartment."

"Dermatologists hate him! It's not because he has a great skin or anything. He's just an asshole"

"What do you call a bear's dick? a weenner the pooh"

"Scientists say they are working on bringing back the wholly mammoth. But at what cost? ...per pound?"

"How much dessert does a dieting Jedi eat at an Italian restaurant? Only one cannoli."

"What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster? ""I'M BREADY TO DIE"""

"People with speech impediments are just misunderstood."

"Gary Johnson in an Interview.. Reporter: Knock Knock! Gary Johnson: Who's there? Reporter: What is Alep Gary Johnson: What is Alepwho? Reporter: a-are you serious?"