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Joke of the Day

"What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster? ""I'M BREADY TO DIE"""

Next Joke
 
"My girlfriend treats me like God... She shouts my name while fucking other guys"
"I slept like a baby last night... ...I woke up screaming because I had shat myself"
"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? (slightly NSFW) A pickpocket snatches watches."
"How do you call fish with no eyes fsh"
"What do you call a chinese crab who just got dumped? A frustacean"
"Renewing your wedding vows is like agreeing on a double life sentence to prison."
"If you want me to save a horse and ride a cowboy, you better spare a tree and eat a beaver."
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away. That's the best plan healthcare.gov could offer me."
"The Internet manages to show how far Homo Sapeins have come while simultaneously showing how far they haven't."