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Joke of the Day

"NSFW Where do you go when you get semen in your eye? Pearle Vision. [Totally a Canadian Joke, my bad for not thinking about that! Pearle Vision is a local Optometry franchise.]"

"Despite how vital drinking water is.... I always turn my nose up at it."

"A robot walks into a bar, orders a drink, and lays down some cash. Bartender says, ""Hey, we don't serve robots."" And the robot says, ""Oh, but someday you will."""

"What did the corn stalk say to the other corn stalk? ""That outfit makes you look very corny."""

"I'd tell you a joke about fellatio, but it sucks."

"His many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? ............ Ten Tickles........"

"If we were on a sinking ship and there was.. Only one life vest... I would miss you so much."

"Loose weight I feel that the only option for me to loose weight is to either smoke crack or ingest a tape worm but they both require a commitment level that I am uncomfortable with."

"How do you find will smith in the snow? You look for fresh prince."

"My son is suspended? Yes, in-school suspension. So he goes to school? Yes, but he's suspended. Suspended IN THE SCHOOL? Yes. Idiot."