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Joke of the Day

"How much dessert does a dieting Jedi eat at an Italian restaurant? Only one cannoli."

"People keep telling me that I have no idea what it's like to have no roof above my head I don't think so, I really like the new Porsche convertible."

"What women want.. ...is a penis made of chocolate that ejaculates money."

"One good thing about Hilary as president. One good thing about having Hilary as president is that we wouldn't have to pay her as much."

"If you're a woman and you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it."

"[Long] longest joke in the world My dick Didn't see that coming."

"Why does Minnie Mouse wear heels? She is the only female mouse Mickey knows. Pressure's off, girl. Your boyfriend doesn't even have a shirt."

"Ever since I read an article about the danger of smoking I stopped reading."

"some people want to be buried when they die. others want to be cremated. personally, I think I would like to be brought back to life"

"Did you hear about Ryan Seacrest's beard? Apparently she's a former Miss Teen USA."