171939

Joke of the Day

"- 911, what's your emergency? - My nephew just swallowed a lighter! - What's your address? - Never mind, I found some matches."

"my favorite hobby is reading a book by a fireplace in a cabin in the woods. in other words, my favorite hobby is being threatening to trees"

"What's long, black and doesn't work? The unemployment line."

"I finally found out why clickbait is so effective."

"What do you call a piano that approves. A piayes."

"Anti-vaxxers hate Lil John He's always promoting shots."

"The Muslim Who Dated An Ape Did you hear about the Muslim who was caught screwing an ape? He was stoned to death along with his haram bae."

"Q) What do you call a fat person that eats because they're angry, and is then angry because they eat? A) a viscous circle."

"What's the difference between David Bowie and porn? Porn sometimes features good music. R.I.P"

"Between Trump and Clinton, who is more likely to start a nuclear war if elected president? America, with the missiles aimed at ourselves."