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Joke of the Day

"A warlock cursed me to forever be standing in line behind people trying to remember the name of a movie, and I know exactly what movie it is"

"Funny Comeback Dad: you better pass your exam or else forget me as your father! son: ..... son: sure, whatever dad. FIVE HOURS LATER Dad: so how was your exam? Son: who the hell are you?"

"Why are men faster than women? Ball bearings and stick shift."

"If I am farther than you in candy crush I will automatically think im smarter than you."

"Why is Mrs Trump always on top? Because Donald can only fuck up."

"A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong."

"Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent? The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!"

"Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? The boy scout returns home from the camp."

"What do you call a striped bra? A zebra."

"Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head? A: Sweet fuck all."