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Joke of the Day

"I have invented a kitchen cleaner that kills 0.1% of bacteria. I plan to sell the secret to Dettol."

"What do you call an aardvark astronaut? A starredvark!"

"What's a Brooklyn contractors favorite dance? Dewalts"

"What town should a ""mountain oyster"" festival be held in? Oxnard, CA"

"What do you get when you cross dessert with a monkey? A Meringueutan"

"My mom: Asians are some of the safest people in the world... Me: There are asian gangs too My mom: And they're called study groups!"

"I like my women like I like my friends Exploitable"

"What is the most sensitive part of a mans anatomy while he's masturbating? His ears. Oooo! I get to say it! ""Front page?! Wow! Thanks y'all!"" Oh yea, and ""RIP my inbox"" Good times!"

"Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card."

"Nicknames How do you get bob from ""robert"" ? -no answer How do you get billy from ""william""? -no answer how do you get dick from ""richard""? -ask nicely"