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Joke of the Day

"If your new boyfriend carved your initials into a tree on your first date, let the fact he brought a knife be a sign of things to come."

Next Joke
 
"I am one ""Mom!"" away from making the 6 o'clock news."
"My mom's (one ethnicity) & my dad's (another)... So I guess you could say that makes me a (shitty, lazy comedian!)"""
"The iPhone 6 Plus sold very well. It was a huge 6s!"
"Begin this thing doesn't or end Yoda's (lost) last words."
"Horses are the most negative animals... ...they are such neigh-sayers"
"Why did the ""Ringling Bros."" Circus finally go out of business? They couldn't compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer."
"what do you get if you mix a dachsund with a cocker spaniel/ poodle mix? A cockadockapoo."
"Knock, Knock Smell mop."
"The families in Eggo commercials live in nice houses and appear wealthy. Why are they always fighting over one shitty frozen waffle?"