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Joke of the Day

"if Lindsay Lohan can call herself an artist, I can call myself a german shepherd"

"Why do abusive clowns make good comedians? They just hit you funny."

"I'm just off for a meeting with an Indian car maker. Tata."

"If Donald Trump becomes president we will have toupee more taxes."

"Apparently, using a french fry and an onion ring to simulate how I wanted the rest of the evening to go wasn't the most romantic move ever."

"If I were a rat, I wouldn't give my ass either."

"Girl, you don't even know how crazy I am about you.... I'm thinking about digging my mom up so she can meet you."

"My wife decided to take up painting Not to be outdone, I became an art critic."

"Everytime I text my new boss, his only response is FU! I should have expected it. They all told me he was a man of few words."

"How did Harry get it in Ron's sweet Diagon Alley? A lubricantation."