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Joke of the Day

"[Ouijja Board] What is the meaning of life? S-T-A-Y-I-N A-L-I-V-E S-T-A-Y-I-N A-L-I-V-E *Squints at board* What the heck? A Bee Gee board?"

"Yesterday I extinguished a colleague's cigarette at the office with a water pistol. Adds firefighter to resume"

"What do you call a Black man flying a plane? ..A pilot you fuckin racists"

"I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York."

"The spanish word of the day is ""Juicy"" ""TELL ME IF *JUICY* THE COPS!"""

"87% of my day is spent remembering my kids names and my anniversary and stuff and the other 57% is trying to do math."

"How do you excite an idiot? I'll tell you later."

"The technical term for the very bottom of a banana is the ""bananus""."

"Me: I have to lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise everyday. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet, eat healthy and hit the gym. Me: Is that cake?"

"A man goes to a partially deaf doctors Man: Doctor Doctor I can't remember who sang the Pinball Wizard. Doctor: The....... who?"