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Joke of the Day

"How many immature people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 69."

"Got to THE GATES and St. Peter said, ""Go home you're drunk!"" Just another time alcohol saved my life."

"A cave man walks into a bar... ""Hey, Joe, has any one invented booze yet?"""

"Just got out of the shower and lotioned up Unfortunately I'm not a chick so this won't get 624 faves"

"This guy said,""I can predict what's going to happen to your nose."" I thought,""Crikey! It's Nostril-damus!'"

"Now I'm trying to see if I can hear the ocean - me, as a gynecologist"

"I invented a new word: *Zygorepostalgia* It's the feeling you get when you see the same joke reposted more than once in the same day and realize it wasn't funny the first time either."

"On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be at 3am when I drunkenly lock myself out of my apartment."

"Just received an email listing 5 ways to prevent divorce. 'Don't get married' wasn't on there. Or 'murder.' Stupid list."

"A real boyfriend will blow up his girl's phone when she's mad at him. She may not want to answer, but at least she'll see his effort."