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Joke of the Day

"For awhile I'm thinking about going out tonight...I haven't seen those blurry people that ask me how much I've had to drink for awhile!"

"I found a bug in Madden 2015 I sacked Tony Romo, and he didn't break his collarbone."

"""Be there in 5,"" I text, though I am 30 minutes away, completely nude, and engaged in a fist fight with a neighbor."

"What was Ol' Dirty Bastard's favorite vegetable? Nigga, peas!"

"A drum set falls out of a tree. Ba-dum-tis"

"A man goes into a bakery and says, ""I'll have 99 rolls."" Says the lady behind the counter: ""Why don't you take 100, then you have one more."" ""But who's gonna eat all those rolls?"""

"Which class the The Flash hated the most while in college? Physics..."

"How did the phone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring."

"""BE CAREFUL! I HAVE OSTEOPOROSIS!"" She snapped."

"How do you get money out of a piggy bank? Feed it laxatives."