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Joke of the Day

"MONSTER MOTHER: How many times have I told you not to eat with your fingers? Use the spade like everyone else."

Next Joke
 
"[God Creating Dads] God: Ah, yes. Think I'm done Dads: Hi Done, we're Dads! God: Dads: God: *creates the adjustable thermostat*"
"Dwayne Johnson, paper, scissors"
"Comedy legend Joan Rivers passed away. Hundreds of plastic surgeons mourn the loss of their jobs."
"My wife asks for 500$ every day wow and what does she buy with all that money ? I don't know I never give it to her."
"Wow the weather sure is getting cool *A cloud rolls by wearing sunglasses and smoking an unfiltered cigarette*"
"my wife's divorcing me and i asked reddit for help i hit the lawyer, what now"
"What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans? Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today."
"Did you know I'm dating a dental hygienist? She has the cleanest teeth I've ever come across."
"That moment of panic when you accidentally swipe left on Bae while getting food off your phone."