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Joke of the Day

"Did you know I'm dating a dental hygienist? She has the cleanest teeth I've ever come across."

"First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door My plumber has a funny sense of humour"

"Why didn't Timmy get his parents Christmas presents? He's an orphan."

"Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check."

"My girlfriend is the square root of -100 She's a solid 10 but also imaginary"

"ME: My name is Nigel and I'm an alcoholic. AA GROUP: Hi Nigel. *cut to confessional camera* ME: I'm here to WIN, not to make friends."

"I became a proud dad today My son is actually four but he was a boring little cunt for the first three years."

"Why did the stop sign get an STD? Because it had a 4-way."

"Men in Black 3 is in theaters and 3 black men are in a Kardashian."

"Getty Yup! Cowboy: ""Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."" Cashier: ""Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"" Cowboy: ""Nah.... She ain't that ugly."""