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Joke of the Day

"I went to a AAA meeting today and a guy celebrated 21 years. That is some responsible vehicle ownership."

"My family seemed kinda happy that the rice I made yesterday fell on the floor before I could serve it tonight."

"[Picking up girls] Me: you like bad boys, huh? Girls: yea Me to my wing man: tell them Wing man: he's just literally the worst"

"Why did the blind kid fail geometry? He didnt see the point."

"Every morning, I get out of bed and run around the block 5 times. Then I slide the block back under the bed and go back to sleep."

"Someone should invent a version of Twitter for people who spell things like rappers. They could call it ""twita"". Dat would b nize"

"If a gay man gets into a debilitating car accident... is he a fruit or a vegetable?"

"What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? full."

"Why did they invent the shopping cart? To teach women to walk on their hind legs."

"How do you kill bread? Bake it for a little while, and it will be toast."