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Joke of the Day

"My family seemed kinda happy that the rice I made yesterday fell on the floor before I could serve it tonight."

"What's the difference between a lesbian and a canoe? A canoe tips."

"Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer. I have no Words."

"Apparently just because I have the ""mind of a child"" I'm not allowed to sit on a Santa's lap. Also it's ""illegal"" to carry a brain around."

"What is the name of that disgusting, hairy and mostly useless piece of flesh that dangles around the vagina? Your mom."

"Why did the stoplight turn red? Well, wouldn't you turn red if you were caught changing in the middle of the street?"

"What's John Cena's favourite part of the sunset? The CENAry"

"Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels? Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue."

"What's the difference between an owl and a bungee cord? My ass"

"Take me with you! I shout to every airplane that flies over my house."