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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Japanese guy get mad and kick the mushroom? He was sick of all its shiitake."

"If u stand in the pouring grain.... Your gonna get all wheat!"

"My x-girlfriend had a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh It was amazing! If you put your ear to it you could smell the ocean!!!"

"Why did the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken."

"No prosecuting Trespassers will be violated"

"Why did the zombie cross the road? To get his guts back. My three year old made that one up, I though it was pretty good :)"

"When life gets you down, remember the immortal words of Monty Python. NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"

"My neighbour was rushed to hospital today after a wasp landed on his face. It didn't sting him, luckily I got it first with my shovel."

"Killed my first 8 point buck of the season! But it was with the front end of my truck so fuck my life..."

"Did you know that diarrhea is genetic? It runs in your jeans!"