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Joke of the Day

"Start presentation with joke My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke. I attached payslip on the first slide..."

"[team dumps Gatorade on head coach after victory but head coach just happens to be the Wicked Witch of the West] COACH: you idiots *melts*"

"I wanted to be a stand-up comedian. But i realised a sit-down comedian was more comfortable."

"A three-legged dog walks into a bar. ""I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw"""

"What do you call a Mexican pervert? A pedrophile"

"""Well I'll be damned."" said atheist when rapture happened."

"[girl brings me back to her apartment] her: come to bed me: just one sec [velcro noises] [more velcro noises] [too many velcro noises]"

"What do you call an Islamic comedian? A Funni Muslim"

"What did the guy in China say to the Chinese couple who finally got approved to adopt? Con-grab-ur-asians!!"

"Why didn't the life guard save the hippy? He was too far out man."