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Joke of the Day

"""Well I'll be damned."" said atheist when rapture happened."

"What drink did the vampire order at the bar? A blood-light"

"COP: do you know why I pulled you over? COP'S WIFE: *now next to him on the couch* Because you're scared of the movie COP: Yes it's too real"

"Hi, my name is USA, and I am... addicted to starting wars in Muslim countries. This is my first meeting and I'm a little nervous."

"on fire The chief of the fire department walks into the room where the other firemen wait and says: ""Take it easy boys, the Tax Office is on fire."""

"Getting a job right out of college... ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING: Hiring recent college grads. REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers."

"I got accused of date rape once in college, but that's ridiculous. It wasn't a date."

"I bought my friend a new computer screen for Xmas. His New Year resolution is 1920 x 1080."

"Why do Jews have such large noses? Air is free"

"What do you call a group of women with small breasts An itty bitty titty committee"