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Joke of the Day
"I wanted to be a stand-up comedian. But i realised a sit-down comedian was more comfortable."
Next Joke
"Never think you can win a fight just because the other one is a huge pussy. It might have been a female tiger, but it still ate my arm."
"The Pirate and the alphabet Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet? Because they spend years at sea."
"Why should you not throw stones at a knight? Because heavy metal is harder than rock."
"I hate how everyone thinks I'm a d*ckhead just because I go to the gym! I was a d*ckhead well before I went to the gym"
"Instead of being frustrated that you only have a 140 character limit just be thankful that I do."
"""Just dashing to the shops"" Woman [showers, washes hair, styles hair, puts on make up, chooses outfit, irons clothes] Man [grabs car keys]"
"I'm a chick magnet I repel."
"When Russians visit Mexico What do you call it when Russians get diarrhea from drinking water in Mexico? Trotsky's Revenge"
"I just found out that Norway has the highest cost of living in Europe... ... I couldn't A-Fjord to live there."