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Joke of the Day

"ENEMY: can you smell that? That's fear. ME: the baked goods? ENEMY: no. focus on your fear. ME: we must be knife fighting behind a bakery"

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"Why was Selena Gomez suspended in elementary school? Because she couldn't keep her hands to herself."
"Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?"
"Having a traditional Columbus Day. Headed to a casino to hand out blankets with smallpox on them."
"Bird flu epidemic or pun?"
"Movember may be over... ...but Pubecember is just getting started."
"Boobs are the original WMD's. Weapons of Man's Destruction."
"Is it too soon to crack a joke about flight MH17... Cause I'll probably be shot down."
"An orchestra went to the desert Which member felt the warmest? The conductor."
"Trump has so many failed businesses, if he wanted to shut down abortion clinics, he should have just put his name on one"