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Joke of the Day

"CRABS THINK WE WALK SIDEWAYS"

"- ""I love Beyonce... - Whatever floats your boat dude. - No, you're thinking of 'buoyancy'. - ..."""

"I'm not letting anyone into my head until I've cleaned up the place."

"I've got two right here for ya Who are the easiest kids to pick on? Orphans. Who are they going to tell, their parents? Jews should feel lucky. They got their grandparents cremated for free!"

"What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey! (Edit: Say it out loud if you don't get it)"

"Bill Cosby was charged with sexual assault I guess the proof was in the pudding"

"Saturn Undefeated Solar system Hula Hoop champ!"

"I forgot my phone so I asked this guy what time it was. He said ""time to get a watch"" & laughed. So I kicked him in the balls. It was 6:30."

"How can a man take an abortion pill? He just picks one up and leaves."

"""Give it to me!"" she yelled ""I'm so fucking wet! Give it to me now!"" ... She could scream all she wanted. I was keeping the umbrella."