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Joke of the Day

"Use Angie's List if you want a plumber to come over. Use Craigslist if you want that plumber to come over with no pants."

"When someone's ignoring me I like to break into their house at night and steal all their shoes. We'll see how busy you are tomorrow."

"I'm pretty sure if dogs could talk their most common phrase would be ""Are you going to eat that?"""

"How come Puerto Ricans don't like blow jobs? They don't like any kind of jobs"

"I wanted to be a banker But then I lost interest."

"if im being ridiculed online, i will not hesitate to post a photo of a gun. is it my gun? maybe i just googled it. you gonna take that risk?"

"I like my coffee like I like my tea Hot with a splash of milk."

"What do you call a bread place that doesn't make any money? A Naanprofit!"

"Wana hear a Canadian joke? Toronto maple leafs."

"Smartphones don't prevent people from feeling alive and getting in touch with nature. I just walked into a tree."