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Joke of the Day

"Me and my Pink Floyd cover band played at an Epilepsy Awareness Concert... ... we absolutely killed!"

"Egyptian alcoholics are the hardest to talk to..... They are always in denial."

"The designer of the generic ""Advice Animals"" font changed the internet. One might say he made quite an impact."

"What do you call a rooster drawing sh*t? Cock-A-Doodle-Doo"

"Coworker just asked me if I'm ""working hard or hardly working"" & now I'm standing over him asking if he's ""bleeding bad or badly bleeding?"""

"judas: i would never betray jesus he's the best jesus: my favorite movie is the Minions Movie judas: i am going to betray the son of God"

"Some people think vomiting is hard... but I got threw it with flying colors."

"[girl chatting up guy at bar] girl: so what do you do? magician: i halve a girlfriend"

"Bollywood movies are so long... I started watching one in 2014 and it's just finished in 2015."

"No matter how kind you are ... German children will always be Kinder"