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Joke of the Day

"Just once I want a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me to bed WITHOUT all the groaning, swearing and yelling out ""DEAR GOD MY BACK!"""

"What do Jimmy Saville and Lady Thatcher have in common? They both fucked miners in the 80s."

"Did you know that the NY Jets are 0-2 against Pittsburgh in the NFL Playoffs? Turns out Jet fuel can't melt Steeler dreams."

"May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard."

"What do fat people call the runs? The walks"

"What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A quarterback."

"window shopping why do the wealthy put their garbage in clear plastic bags? so the rest of us can go window shopping"

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing they are both stuck up cunts"

"Don't do drugs Without me"

"If I ever got stranded on an island, I could totally use the glare that bounces off the whiteness of my legs to signal for help."