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Joke of the Day

"What's the connection between the Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper? They both travel around Uranus looking for Klingons."

"I find myself addicted to this website just like my Father before me. Guess why that is? It's He*reddit*tary."

"Girl dog: I'm into bad boys Guy dog: [remembering his owner saying how much of a good boy he is] ..oh"

"What is the world's fastest land animal? The Ethiopian chicken"

"We gave you Nickelback and Justin Bieber. You responded with the Kardashians and Honey Boo Boo. Well played America, well played"

"the restraining order doesn't mean we can't hang, it just means I can't be within 50'. We could still play catch or frisbee or something..."

"A priest, a pedophile and a rapist A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. Then he sits down"

"What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity? ""Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."""

"I met this wonderful girl who thinks small penis isn't an obstacle for a good relationship. Now I just have to get used to that she has one."

"We should hang out and stare at our phones."