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Joke of the Day

"What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity? ""Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."""

"Everyone is an atheist until you zip your fly up too quick Then its all Lord Jesus please help"

"What's the best thing about fucking 93 year olds? NOTHING!!!"

"Why don't you play UNO with a Mexican? Because they steal all the green cards"

"So, I saw the movie Still Alice last night. It's easily forgettable."

"A coworker told me I was a pedophile and said I probably had a van that said ""Free Candy"" on the side. I told him that would be pointless. My target demographic can't read yet."

"4: How do you spell no? Me: Sound it out. What makes the na na na na na na na na na sound? 4: Batman? (Spelling is hard)"

"If God is all seeing Does that mean he can see John Cena?"

"Why did Kevin's Ice cream fall down? Because he was hit by a truck"

"Does anyone know how to save your game on twitter I've been playing for 2 years straight my mom is pissed"