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Joke of the Day
"My grandfather got his tongue shot off during WWII He never talked about it."
Next Joke
"What's the difference in a voyeur and a thief? A thief snatches your watch..."
"What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat ? A dirty kid !"
"What do you call a man standing up to his knees in water? Wade"
"A pet hedgehog. Because you don't have enough pricks in your life."
"How do you pick up a jewish girl... With a dust pan."
"LAWYER: [whispers] i did the murder [loudly] read that back? STENOGRAPHER: ""I Did The Murder."" JUDGE: omg the stenographer just confessed"
"I'm going to bed and my hair looks amazing; I feel like the woman in every mattress commercial."
"""Oh my god, you've gotten so fat! Want me to make you something to eat?"" - my mother"
"I needed some white noise yesterday to go to sleep. So i recorded myself saying ""All lives matter"" and played it on repeat until i fell asleep."