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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a thief and a church bell? One steals from the people the other peals from the steeple."

"What has 7 arms and sucks? Def leppard"

"Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery. We're calling it Send Noods"

"What's long and hard? The sock under my bed."

"I hate when people people ask me what I'm doing in 5 years I mean like, come on guys I don't have 20/20 vision."

"Why didn't the lesbian go to the bread festival? She already gets two times the normal amount of yeast."

"Dogs have 10 expressions for ""I love you! I love you!"" and cats have 10 for ""I hope you die slowly in a fire but feed me dinner first."""

"I still whisper ""We're in"" to myself whenever I log onto a wifi network."

"Some joke my dad told me a long time ago What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to? Barbers."

"I don't have a dirty mind. I have a sexy imagination."