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Joke of the Day

"I just thought of this while at a local hockey game. Why can't dogs play hockey? They always get called for roughing."

"I save an average of $5 per tank of gas by filling up at Costco. I'll have enough saved to buy a house in about 1,200 years."

"Have you heard the news about corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!"

"What did the redneck say after his girlfriend swallowed? You gots the purdiest tooth I ever comed across, Sis."

"What does Eminem and a Tumblr SJW have in common? ""See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out"""

"How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rock-et."

"My coworker has inspirational quotes up in her cubicle and one of them says ""choose your destiny"" so I guess she plays Mortal Kombat too."

"Son: Dad, I just had sex. Dad: Good job son, sit down, we need to talk about something. Son: I can't."

"Everyone always says that chocolate is like crack, so one day I actually tried it to find out for myself. I still prefer crack."

"What does a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars. Well, except for the duck."