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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes it's hard to nap at work. Like, when the boss is standing beside you or when you don't have a job."

"My grandfather's dying wish was to be pushed in front of a steam train. When it finally happened, he was chuffed to bits."

"What did the dick say to the condom? Cover me I'm going in."

"Jared's favorite dressing on his Subway sandwich is Neverland Ranch. I'm sorry."

"Why did the police chief hate going into the basement? Because it was beneath his station. :P"

"From now on, I'm referring to my ex girlfriends as ""yesterbae's."""

"Why did the Greeks want Helen back so bad? Are you kidding? She was the most beautiful woman in the world! Can you imagine what her sons would of looked like?"

"My dad got fired from Cal Trans for stealing... We couldn't believe it. But when we got home, we saw all of the signs."

"Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!"

"A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""