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Joke of the Day

"I never understood why it was popular in AOL chatrooms back in the day to ask if others had neurodegenerative diseases.... Squishyquake81: ""Hi, ASL"""

"So, I have a black girlfriend now Burnt the shit out of my hand on the stove..."

"My mom took my phone when I wasn't paying attention She said ""honey have you been watching porn?"" ""N-no mom why would you say that?"" I asked petrified. ""Because your search history is blank""."

"I wish I had a job. That way I could spend all day tweeting when I should be working."

"What kind of car does Bill Cosby drive? A Honda quaalude. (Credit to my girlfriend)"

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken"

"How did the grave robber perish when he became trapped in a pyramid? He died of asphinxiation!"

"ever notice how santa give rich kids better presents than poor kids. come on 8yr olds put your thinking caps on"

"How do the fish get to school ? By octobus !"

"Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making"