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Joke of the Day

"Until public restrooms have automatic doors, the automatic sinks, soap and paper towel dispenser will make no sense to me."

"Reports of a man being shot with a starters pistol.. Police think it may be race related"

"A homeless guy outside played the Braveheart theme on a recorder. Pretty awesome. Not as awesome as having a house, but still, AWESOME."

"After watching TV with my kids, I think I have figured out what's wrong with this generation....their cartoons suck."

"Did you hear that the DMV is going make all stop signs bilingual for Spanish Speakers in 2014? It's not going to be too expensive, though, all they have to do is add the ""e"" to the front."

"How do deaf mathematicians communicate? Sine language!"

"""Stay strong!"" I said to my wi-fi signal."

"Whats the difference between 3 big cocks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"I think the best thing about being a house wife is that you would get to be married to a house!"

"Have you guys tried McDonald's new Premium McWrap? So much better than the Budget McWrap, which is a dead mouse in a cabbage leaf."