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Joke of the Day

"""Stay strong!"" I said to my wi-fi signal."

"What do you call a farmer who's excellent at what he does? Outstanding in his field"

"Why did the ghost get kicked out of the bar? 1. Because he was sheet faced. 1. Because he couldn't hold his boos. EDIT: Formatting."

"My friends accused me of making jokes about David Bowie I said ""Oh no, not me"""

"Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug on his floor. The bear isn't actually dead. It's just too afraid to move."

"Taking their kid to a PG-13 movie must be a tough call for 13 year old mothers."

"What is the difference between a creep and a kid? I wouldn't let a creep sit on my lap."

"This year I'll avoid all the trouble of taking down my Christmas lights... I'll just turn my house into an Italian restaurant."

"I would make an alliance of agnostics... but I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"Babies are fucking idiots and we totally act like that's okay."