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Joke of the Day

"After watching TV with my kids, I think I have figured out what's wrong with this generation....their cartoons suck."

"I was playing football with some SJWs. They found my playing strategy highly offensive."

"My wife finally conceded in an ongoing argument we were having about clocks It was about time."

"What do you call it when a group of people in a single vehicle travel through a lengthy underpass? Carpool tunnel!"

"""haha yeah totally"" - me to cab drivers"

"I'm a very old fashioned kind of guy (i'll kill you and steal your spices)"

"What service do you get if you sleep in a bakery? Bread and Bakedfast!"

"What's a Pirates favorite letter? You would think its R, but but it's really the C!"

"[interview] ""What's your strongest trait?"" My fingers. ""No, like... Are you pinching me??"" GIVE ME [fighting to maintain pinch] THE JOB"

"Positive people are less of a person They are missing electrons."