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Joke of the Day

"There are 2 screaming kids & a guy talking full voice on his cell in this bank. I'll wave at you on the news tonight as they lead me away."

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink."

"What was the first mention of soccer in the bible? When Jesus went up for the cross."

"What do you call a cow's mate? Its significant *udder*."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None. 1845 never forget."

"Why is Hillary Clinton running for President? Because it's easier than running from Law Enforcement."

"Did you hear about the laptop RAM that was raped and had no memory of it? They say it was SO-DIMMy."

"Just a reminder not to wear white after Labor Day and not to be black around cops."

"How did So-Cal celebrate the double anniversary of the LA Riots and Cinco de Mayo? Rodney King Pinatas"

"I must be fucking great in the sack Every girl I've ever had sex with has told me she wishes it had been longer!"