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Joke of the Day

"What was the first mention of soccer in the bible? When Jesus went up for the cross."

"I reply to ""Happy New Year"" with ""not if I have anything to do with it."""

"Where did all the Sephardic Jews go? I dunno, you'll have to Ashkenazi"

"There are 3 types of people in the world Those who can count and can't count"

"What do an engagement ring and a child molester have in common? They both come in a little box."

"what kind of pants does a monkey wear? ma-khakis"

"Turns out it wasn't vertigo causing me to run into things, it was vodka."

"People commonly believe that Jesus died a virgin, but I heard he got nailed right before he died. Blasphemy."

"What happens when an egg laughs? He cracks up"

"I fucked a retarded chick last night. I wanted the first time to be special."