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Joke of the Day

"Just a reminder not to wear white after Labor Day and not to be black around cops."

"A child asks his father how to be happy. He replied, ""I never knew what real happiness was until I got married..."" ""...and then it was too late."""

"Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant? Right before the tanks were full he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car."

"When is an English teacher like a judge? When she hands out long sentences."

"Men of quality respect women's equality."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bhuto ! Bhuto who ? Bhuto-n the other foot !"

"How was copper wire invented? A Dutchman and a Scotsman fighting over a penny."

"[I wake up next to a fishing net full of salmon] But that means... [Cut to fisherman at sea, with my dreamcatcher full of howling goblins]"

"I get all my indisputable political facts from what my uncle Harold posts on Facebook. Like did u know Obama killed the last living unicorn?"

"Glass of wine a night A woman drinking a glass of wine a night can increase the chances of a stroke. A full bottle and you might get a blowjob."